Can you be friends with your ex-partner or partner? You Become Friends This question resembles the question of whether you can walk on your hands instead of your feet, light the grill with bills, or eat pizza without tomato sauce and cheese.
The short answer is: “Sure you can!” However, right after that, it must be added: “But what’s the point?”
You see, I’m a huge advocate for people to treat each other fine even when they break up. The fact that you think that this relationship is no longer for you is no reason to want to hurt someone, especially since this is a person who, not so long ago, was said that anything would be done for her. SharekAlomre.com If you don’t have an idea how you want to spend your life, it is a really smart idea to live so that you don’t have to cross the street when you see someone.
However, when it comes to maintaining a close relationship with your ex, it’s not a good idea. Why?
1. It will keep you from moving forward.
If the other person broke up with you, just saying to yourself, “Okay, now we’re gonna be friends” won’t erase your feelings. They will be as alive as before, and you will be driven by the hope that something else can come out of it.
It will also complicate your other potentially valuable relationships. You may think it’s so cool and modern to be friends with your ex, but for other people it is put off because it means, “This person is not ready for a relationship yet.”
The facts are that not completely closing the topic of a relationship will not reduce your pain. At most, it will prolong it, because in this way you create a situation in which you cannot cope with your feelings, work through this relationship and open up to a new one.
2. It will make it difficult for the other person to move forward.
This point is about when you end the relationship. You may even think that “we can still be friends” is okay. That this is the one-of-a-kind option for a painless breakup. In fact, it’s even a good deed in which the other person suffers less, and you still have someone with you who will gladly throw off their clothes at your request.
It sounds so beautiful it can’t be real. And it’s not real.
I know it’s nice to have a “backup plan” and know that there is someone next to you waiting for you. I also know that life is not a little prince and everyone is primarily responsible for their own feelings. Only one thing is worth adding, big BUT – if you see that someone is hurting himself, do not encourage him to do so.
It also so happens that this is exactly the case, because telling someone with whom you break up: “I will not be with you, but you can orbit me like the Earth around the Sun” is an incentive that that person should suffer longer, not be able to close this stage and she was unable to meet someone SharekAlomre who would make her happy. It just isn’t fair.
3. Friendship with your ex will have an impact on your future relationship.
You see, everyone knows that when you are over (say) 21, you don’t recognize anyone at the beginning of his love story. Usually we are already involved in some kind of relationship. With someone we were with, someone we would like to be with, we remember someone. Getting to know someone new, we can still do a lot of things with that person for the first time, but certainly not all of them.
There is a big difference, however, between knowing that someone you are dating has a past as well, and dealing with and observing the past and observing it here and now. Few people can swallow it smoothly, especially people who end relationships and make a life where there is no room for their ex. You can be sure that they will always tell you in advance, “Hey! Somehow I can close my previous relationship behind me. You don’t have to worry about what I have in common with my ex and I don’t want to worry about that as far as you are concerned. I’m not telling you who to go out with, but I want to be treated the way I treat you. “
At this point, you can start to do the mental skirmish of why this person is wrong and claim. That they want to limit you. However, it will not change the fact that this is fair. No matter what arguments you use, and no matter how many times you don’t say “we have nothing in common,” it will still put your new partner in an uncomfortable position.
Meanwhile, it is your current relationship. That should be your priority, not some previous and unsuccessful relationship. This in turn means that sooner or later you will be in a situation where it will be necessary to say goodbye to your ex.
4. It will never be a true friendship. You Become Friends
Why do exs want to be friends? Because they’re not ready to give you up or think it’s a nice, gentle way to end a relationship (yes, it’s an oxymoron).
This makes it a difficult relationship by definition. There are a lot of problems that may arise here. Mutual jealousy. Restoring physical closeness that you are not necessarily ready for. Anxiety. Giving yourself a false hope. However, the most important thing is that it lacks the elementary honesty that is the foundation of friendship.
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Will you be able to talk to this person about dating other people. About your arguments, or how the new person compares to the old one (i.e. her)? Naturally, some topics will always have to be hidden. And this in turn means that it will never be a complete friendship.
5. When you are friends with your ex, you usually don’t give yourself a chance to grow up. – You Become Friends
Finally, think about what is so special about. This person that any other person out of the remaining 7 billion people on this globe does not have ?!
There are people who only stick to what they know. Same town. The same people. The same habits. But you don’t want to be one of those people. You will never grow this way.
Thanks to this, we are developing a new one. Therefore go ahead. Do not stay with the person who has resigned or you have resigned. Give yourself a chance at what’s new. It is only thanks to this that you will develop.